Santa’s Resume
Santa Claus
Secret Village
North Pole, EA 11001
santa09@sleighbells.com
Objective
Seasonal worker seeking part time employment in the field of philanthropy and the spreading of joy to all mankind.
Skills Summary
| Naughty/Nice List Management | Distribution and Logistics |
| Just In Time Inventory Control | Not So Lean Manufacturing |
| Workshop & Elf Management | Reindeer Breeding & Flight Training |
Employment History
Self Employed North Pole A long time ago – Present
Title: Father Christmas
- Develop and maintain lists of children for the purpose of behavioral assessment. Assign children to naughty or nice categories.
- Solicit input and assemble preferences for toys, gifts and candy on an individual basis. Make decision on gift awards based on behavioral assessment.
- Plan, implement and control workshop processes to ensure smooth and efficient operation.
- Created Elf Academy to train and motivate a staff of elves for improved production of toys.
- Maintain a team of reindeer and a magic sleigh which includes a transdimensional present compartment, nose navigator and state-of-the-art antimatter propulsion.
Education
North Pole University, North Pole, Earth
Master of Behavioral Science, Child and Adolescent Assessment
GPA: 5.0/4.0
Kringle Academy, North Pole, Earth
Bachelor of Arts, Toy Design and Distribution
GPA: 5.0/4.0
Professional Affiliations
Charter Member, National Beard Registry
Spokesperson, Association for Elven Workforce Management
Chairman, The Institute for Clean Chimneys
Member, Cookies Advisory Committee
Activities
Tree decorator and snowman builder
Avid checker player
Expert cookie taster
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In: Uncategorized · Tagged with: Assessment Plan, Bachelor Of Arts, Behavioral Assessment, Charter Member, Checker Player, Committee Activities, Education North, Father Christmas, Gift Awards, Improved Production, Magic Sleigh, National Beard Registry, Part Time Employment, Professional Affiliations, Salary Information, Seasonal Worker, Sleighbells, Toy Design, Workforce Management, Workshop Processes
Cartoon of the Day
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In: Cartoon Of The Day · Tagged with: Cartoon Of The Day, Salary Information
Should Companies Profit When Employees Die?
Some companies have found a very creepy way to increase their bottom line. They are buying life insurance policies for employees in which the company and not the family receives the tax free payout in the event of the employees death. Millions of American workers have no knowledge that these policies have been taken out on them by companies with such prominent names as Dow Chemical, Walmart and AT&T. These whole life policies are known in the business as “Dead Janitor” or “Dead Peasant” policies and are a fairly common practice. Another financial benefit for the company is allowing them to borrow against these policies while the employee is still alive. In yet another crazy twist, the employee does not even need to be currently employed by the company at the time of their death for the company to keep the policy active, which makes the likelihood of a future payout even greater.
Many states require companies to inform their employees when they take out a life insurance policy against them. Due to the awkward nature of this, companies have found a loophole to keep from informing their employees of the policy by having them written in states such as Georgia that don’t require employee consent. In this case, it would be almost impossible to determine if your company has a policy on you.
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In: Business Stories · Tagged with: Amp, Awkward Nature, Bottom Line, Buying Life Insurance, Crazy Twist, Dow Chemical, Financial Benefit, Insurance, Janitor, Life Insurance Policies, Life Insurance Policy, Life Policies, Likelihood, Loophole, Peasant, Salary Information, Walmart, Whole Life
